BDSM DOMINATRIX DOMME PRODOMME MISTRESS GODDESS DOMINANT DOMINA QUEEN LADY MISS MASTER KING LORD SIR SUBMISSIVE
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Another BDSM directory?? We don't need that!
Here's the thing: We actually do. We need a resource for us, by us. We need a space created and maintained by someone who actually does this work and who gets it, and not another faceless, nameless sub dude who's really in it to gain favor with women, a site that doesn't actually care if we get any business, some company ready to abandon us as soon as they get what they want, or someone who won't fight for our human right to do our work, whatever our reason for doing so.
Additionally, this directory has a couple of particulars that make it different from other similar sites:
1. All professionals must pass basic vetting. This means everyone listed on this site has been screened to meet some baseline criteria for professionalism. This helps avoid the amateurs and scam artists that have populated other sites.
2. Professionals who offer any kind of escorting are not eligible for listing in this directory. This is not any reflection about how we feel about escorting or escort services, it's that we are so often a token addition to escort spaces that some people don't understand the difference between escorting and BDSM. There are already directories for escorts but none which is dedicated exclusively to providers offering traditional or classic BDSM.
Since you vet each professional listed does this mean you guarantee them?
While each professional listed here has passed basic screening, which means there is almost no chance they aren't a real person, there are things that are beyond the scope of this directory and thus cannot be guaranteed, such as an assurance of: 1. Their professional conduct with a client. 2. The quality of their work. 3. Your safety. 4. Your personal compatibility. You still need to do your due diligence.
Why is this site only for strictly BDSM professionals? Can I be listed if I offer escorting?
There are already several directories for people who offer escorting, a hybrid of escorting and (usually light) BDSM, sensual-only play, or some other type of adult service. Allowing everyone who wants to be listed dilutes the directory's effectiveness and creates challenges for the client searching for a genuine Domina, classic Mistress, professional Dominatrix, experienced submissive, or otherwise serious BDSM/kink practitioner, as they have to sift through many inappropriate listings.
I understand that some people are bothered by this policy. Don't let it bother you. This is simply a place for a particular type of provider, like other directories on the internet. Don't feel an exclusion is personal or a judgment. It's not. Don't be disrespectful and hostile about us wanting to create that space. Just check out another directory that matches your target audience.
You say this site is for the more "serious" and "traditional" BDSM provider. How do you determine who is "serious" and "traditional"?
We're not here to define this for everyone or police how people do their work. Not only do we not have the time, we don't care! However, we need guidelines for this directory to have meaning and purpose. We hope we can all agree on some baseline definitions.
"Serious" is determined by your approach. Do you have a website with your own domain? Does it include the kind of information a client would look for and expect to find for someone she or he is considering to book? Do you come across as professional? If the answer is "no" to any of those questions, then the perception is that you are not serious.
"Traditional" is not based on your personality, style, wardrobe, or website design, but on the activities commonly understood to fall under "BDSM". This includes bondage (B), discipline (D), power exchange (D/s) or top and bottom scenarios; and sadomasochism (SM), and all the ways we express this. As well as things like training and fetish play, etc. A provider does not need to do all of these, of course, but the expectation is that the majority of what you offer falls under this umbrella.
BDSM as it is traditionally practiced does not include escorting or escort activities. This can include "companionship", cuddling, kissing, fondling, body slides, GFE (girlfriend experience), or sex. "Sensual Domination" can also indicate escorting activities, so if this is your main service or you offer little else beyond this, then it's likely your work will be assumed to be in the escort category and politely declined. Don't get us wrong, those things are absolutely hot, and many of us love them, but they are usually not included in the professional sessions of traditional players.
If you offer escort services "off the record" that is your business, but if it is "on the menu" then we're sorry it's a no.
Why are you policing how people practice BDSM?
We're not. We're policing this directory. You can practice whatever you want, however you want.
Unbelievably, or perhaps not, we've had some providers become hostile with us because we don't allow people who offer escorting onto the site--even though there are already several places for those people to advertise.
Gentlefolk, listen to us. We want to create a list for a particular type of provider. Arguing about this is as ridiculous as you saying you're an Italian restaurant and you don't understand why we won't let you onto our directory for Thai restaurants. This doesn't mean we don't like Italian food or we're telling people they shouldn't make it. Just go get on the list that describes what you serve. That's where people are looking for you, anyway!
Is this an inclusive directory?
Absolutely. We welcome anyone regardless of their sex, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, color, religion, nationality, native language, body type, (dis)ability, or legal age.
Does my site and ad need to be in English?
No. As long as we can use a translator to read it, English is not required.
We can post an ad in any language you would like.
Do I need to actually meet my clients face-to-face to qualify?
No. As long as you meet the other criteria you can offer exclusively remote sessions.
What types of listings do you offer?
We offer three types of listings: Premium, Featured, and Standard. Premium listings (only) have the option of upgrading their photo gallery to a Platinum design.
For more information, please check out listings.
How much do listings cost?
Check the Get Listed page for the current price.
We ask that you please not complain about pricing or ask for free listings or upgrades. The cost is beyond fair for a beautiful, highly-ranked website with a steady stream of traffic.
Anything sent above the listing fee is considered a donation toward site development and is very much appreciated!
Why do you ask me to be prepared before sending my request and completing the listing in 72 hours?
So our inbox isn't cluttered with a bunch of people telling us things like, "I'll finish my website next month," or "I'll send payment in a couple of weeks", or the silence we're getting as we're trying to follow up to help you get listed. No one wants to be bothered with having to manage this kind of stuff. We've got better things to do! Please respect our time the way we respect yours. Thanks so much.
How do I pay the fee if I'm not in the US?
We have some online choices that anyone around the world can use. All are easy. Funds will be automatically converted into US Dollars from your local currency.
Why aren't you offering this for free?
Paying for a listing does three primary things:
1. It shows your support for the financial and labor needs of the project.
2. It ensures that listings remain relevant, so the site doesn't become full of dead links.
3. It further helps weed out the frauds and fakes.
Taking issue with the fee is pretty ironic. A fellow pro Domme complains about someone asking to send a tiny tribute for her work? You sound like the male subs you complain about, ladies!
Furthermore, if you've been around enough and are serious about this as a career you will know that good advertising is expensive. The administrator here brings a lot of skills and knowledge to this endeavor. The fee is a STEAL. Less than cup of coffee per month. Look at us, we sound like an ad for UNICEF!
What do I need to be approved for a listing?
This directory requires some basic standards of professionalism. All providers are vetted before being listed.
First and foremost, you need to offer traditional/classic BDSM services or goods professionally. For the purpose of this site, "professionally" means you have a certain level of seriousness and presentation.
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU MEET EACH CRITERION BEFORE YOU REQUEST TO BE LISTED.
Providers
You must have:
1. Your own personal, professional website. Pages on sites like FetLife, BlueSky, Twitter/X, or OnlyF*ns are not a personal website but a page on someone else's site. Clips don't count because they don't tell us that you're a practicing professional.
2. Your site has a custom domain. BDSMProfessionals.com is an example.
3. Be a practicing professional for at least 6 months. This is determined by some combination of your website domain, references, or that your reputation proceeds you!
4. A site that is sufficiently developed to include detail about you and what traditional BDSM activities you offer. "I'm a ProDomme and I do BDSM" or "I offer kinky play" are not clear enough. Clips don't count because they may not represent what someone does in a session. Please clearly describe this for your prospective clientele/play partners on your website, not scattered around on a form, blog, or social media. If the laws in your jurisdiction prohibit providing this detail please say so when submitting your request.
5. No indication of escorting. This includes sensual-only play, such as "Sensual Domination", either exclusively or primarily.
6. A hard limit, disclaimer, or other statement that explicitly says you do not provide illegal activities. The word illegal is an important clarification that must be included. Just saying "sex" is not comprehensive enough. Please be sure that the statement is on your actual site (and not your form on Google, for example) and easy to locate and not buried in text.
7. From where you conduct your sessions. Details about specific location aren't required.
8. A clear way to contact you. Directing people to OnlyFans or the like doesn't count. Please offer phone, text, email, or a form.
These are basic elements that one would expect from a professional Domme, FemDom, Dominatrix, Mistress, Domina, Goddess, Queen, Lady, Disciplinarian, Master, Sir, and submissive.
Studio Rentals
You must have:
1. A dedicated site with it's own custom domain OR a dedicated page on your provider site that has it's own domain.
2. Photos that clearly show your facilities.
3. Pertinent details that someone would expect to find on a site for a professional studio. This can include square footage, number of rooms, equipment, hours, rates.
3. A clear way to contact you to book.
Craftspeople
You must have:
1. A dedicated site with it's own custom domain OR a dedicated page on your pro site that has it's own domain OR a storefront on a site like Etsy. If you have your own site it must be at least 6 months old.
2. Photos that clearly show your clothing, accessories, furniture, or gear.
3. Pertinent details about what BDSM/kink clothing, accessories, furniture, or gear you're selling. What it is, how much it costs, shipping.
4. A clear way for it to be purchased. And where it will be shipped from.
5. If you offer a discount code, it must be good for the duration of your being listed here. The amount is entirely up to you.
Shops
You must have:
1. A dedicated site with its own custom domain OR a dedicated page on your pro site that has its own domain OR a storefront on a site like Etsy. If you have your own site it must be at least 6 months old.
2. Whether you're online and/or have a storefront. If you have a storefront it has to be clear where it is located.
3. Photos that clearly show what BDSM/kink clothing, accessories, furniture, or gear you're selling.
4. Pertinent details about your merchandise. What it is, how much it costs.
5. Pertinent details about your shipping and return policies.
6. Where/How a person can buy from you.
7. If you offer a discount code, it must be good for the duration of your being listed here. The amount is entirely up to you.
I've been doing this for X years. Why do I need to meet these eligibility criteria? Can I just confirm what you're asking in an email?
Everyone is held to the same basic professional standards. Part of those standards are that you need to have a website and with certain things clearly communicated on it. Your website is a public declaration of your practice. Our taking a statement by email is a private declaration. Not only is this beyond our interest to manage it creates a legal responsibility that we cannot assume.
I run a House. Can I submit a request for it to be listed?
We cannot list a House. We need to list each individual provider as their own entity. This means that like any other pro included on this site, they will need their own personal website with custom domain OR their own page on your House's site, which also needs its own domain. If the latter, it needs to include everything an independent provider would include on their site. It cannot refer prospective clients to call the Headmistress for info about the provider or to book. Please see "What do I need to be approved for a listing?" for more detail.
Why am I required to have my own website and domain?
Requiring that providers have their own site and custom domain will drastically reduce the possibility of fraudulent listings. It's not to disenfranchise anyone. It's meant to protect both the pros and the clients. It also encourages the more serious practitioners to set themselves apart from amateurs offering entry-level or low-quality play for compensation.
If your site seems suspicious you will placed in a waiting period of at least 6 months before you are eligible for listing.
Can you help make me a website?
Yes. Complete the form on the GetListed page and select "Help" under listing type and we willl get back to you to discuss your needs. Packages start at 200 USD with a same-day turnaround in most cases.
I regularly session in different cities/countries. Can I be listed in more than one place?
Absolutely! We encourage it.
A guideline for multiple listings is that you reliably session in that location. For example, you're primarily in Minneapolis but also session in Milwaukee at least every few months, or you are in London but visit Dubai four times a year. Something that makes sense when you look at it from the perspective of a client who would like to book a session with you and doesn't want to wait a year.
If you tend to visit a country or city sporadically and unpredictably, such as spending June of every year in another state or country, then it makes more sense to post your visit as a tour. You can do this by sending the admin an email with the subject "tour" and we'll post it to the Tours page.
If you are some combination of provider, studio rental, BDSM/kink clothing or gear craftsperson, or own a BDSM/kink store (online or retail), you can have multiple listings for those as well
Please submit a separate entry for each listing you would like. We ask this so that it is absolutely clear what names, locations, websites, and photos go with what listing.
How should I submit a request for multiple listings?
Please complete the form on GET LISTED for each unique entry you'd like on the site.
For example, let's say you're a pro Domme who sessions out of two cities/town and also rents your dungeon...
ENTRY 1:
Professional Name: Domina ABC
Role: Dominant
City: Poundtown, USA
Website: DominaABC.com
ENTRY 2:
Professional Name: Domina ABC
Role: Dominant
City: Whipsville, USA
Website: DominaABC.com
ENTRY 3:
Professional Name: Dungeonland
Role: Dungeon
City: Poundtown, USA
Website: Dungeonland.com
Why was my request declined?
There are different reasons why your listing might be declined. If this occurs, you will be told specifically why.
Some different reasons might be:
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You don't have your own website and personal domain. For example, you submit a link to your OnlyFans or your Twitter/X account. Or you have created a free website without customizing your domain.
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Your site is less than 6 months old AND/OR you do not have an adequate, verifiable professional practice. I'm using the age of your site as an idea of how long you've been a pro and your professional experience. If your site is less than 6 months old but your experience is greater I just need to be able to verify that. A message from a Headmistress at a house or another verified professional will suffice.
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You don't seem to be very serious or sincere about offering BDSM. This includes a lack of development on your site. Such as info about you, specifics about what you offer*, your protocol, and how to contract you. Sites that just say "I'm a pro Domme and I offer BDSM sessions" do not reflect a professional and serious provider. I don't take verbal or private (email) declarations; allow criteria to be met over several sites, such as your social media accounts and FetLife page; or waive requirements due to your having done this for 40 years. Everything must be clearly written on your site. (*If laws in your jurisdiction prohibit this please indicate so when submitting your request.)
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You indicate escorting in any capacity. This includes play that is exclusively or heavily sensual, such as exclusively or primarily offering "Sensual Domination". This is no judgement whatsoever of escorting or strictly sensual play, it's just there are several other sites for people who provide these kinds of experiences. Those of us who strictly provide BDSM would like a space that we don't share with those who offer escorting. In part because it tends to bring us the wrong clients, or confuses people about who we are and what we offer.
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You do not have a statement that says you do not offer illegal activities/sevices. The word illegal must be used.
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Your photos appear significantly doctored. This does not include standard airbrushing. It includes major changes to the head, face, and/or body. Such as putting your head or face on another body or significant contour changes to your body.
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Your site primarily promotes your OnlyFans or similar site. If this is your main bread and butter, we understand, but this directory isn't for that.
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Your site primarily promotes clips. Again, we understand, but this isn't a clips promo site per se.
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You site has characteristics of misrepresentation or fraud. There are various characteristics that weI look for. One is people who claim to have a certain number of years experience but their website date doesn't match. If you have this or other characteristics, we will decline to list you until your authenticity can be verified. Please don't be offended if we ask to verify you. If you are here with intent to defraud, we have many years' experience identifying fraud and will be able to identify it. If this happens, you will be reported to the authorities of your country.
I meet all the criteria. Why was I declined?
There are a few reasons:
1. You offer illegal or highly unethical play. Including but not limited to nonconsenting parties (for example, public sex acts when illegal would be included but not leading someone around on a leash), blackmail (aka extortion), theft, live crushing. If you offer blackmail play you must indicate it is blackmail fantasy so it's clear you're not actually extorting anyone.
2. Two incidents of "ghosting". If you've submitted your second request to be listed and do not complete the listing process in the timeframe requested. We will assume that your inability to follow through means that you are not professional enough for this directory.
3. Unprofessional conduct. This includes especially disrespectful or abusive behavior. (Abusive behavior will result in a ban.)
Can you help me fix the problems with my site so I'll be approved?
We tell you why it's not approved and then it's up to you to figure that out. Once you do you can make another request.
If you want serious one-on-one help with your website, or other related business support, please see the question below.
I need some help with my business/domain/website/meeting the directory's standards. Can you help me?
Yes! The administrator offers consulting for the BDSM professional or aspiring professional. However, this is not offered for free. Each call is a jam-packed 30 minutes for 120 or an hour for 200. Areas of support include:
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developing a business plan
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branding
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marketing
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budgeting
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registering a domain
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setting up email using your custom domain
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websites, start to finish (this does not include doing your site for you, which is extra)
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tax reporting (this is general advice about how to file/report, not to be replaced by an accountant)
Why the administrator? "I'm an established and well-respected Dominatrix often called "one of the best" by my clients, with a track record for success in these areas. I have an educational and professional background in Psychology (with an aptitude in branding and marketing), finance (including tax reporting), and I began doing web sites and development in 1996. I have a lot of knowledge to share with you that will help you shine!"
If you're interested, please use the form on the Get Listed page and the admin will contact you. Put "consulting" in place of your location. If you don't yet have a domain or website just put "TBD".
What happens after I submit my request to be listed?
You will be contacted once approved with a request for payment and your profile photo. Though our goal is to have a same-day turnaround, please allow up to 72 hours.
Once approved you will be asked to send payment for your listing and a photo. Payment options are easy and will be online or a money order in USD.
Once those are received, we will get to it as soon as possible. This is usually somewhere between 15 minutes and 12 hours, but in the event the admin is busy attending to her own clients, please allow up to 72 hours for your listing to be posted.
How do you decide in what order people are listed?
Order is determined by three things:
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You sending payment for your requested listing. This will begin a 3-day "reservation" period for your spot.
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"Fullfilling" your request. This means you send the content that goes with your ad choice before your reservation period ends. If you do not your spot can be taken by someone else who pays and sends their content first.
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If you live full-time in your location. Full-time residents of an area are listed before professionals indicting it as a secondary or tertiary location.
Please do not ask for exceptions of preferential treatment. We're all professionals here.
What kind of photos do I need to send?
Details for content needed for each listing type are indicated on the listings page
Also, we highly recommended you watermark your images. Criminals are on the lookout for photos they can steal and use to impersonate a pro Domme so they can scam people. They are less likely to take yours if your name is on it, and even less likely if you include your website.
Am I required to show my face?
No, but you do need a photo of yourself. A photo of your spanking bench or pair or shoes will not suffice. You also cannot use a stock photo. If you prefer not to show your face just blur or crop it out.
I don't know how to watermark my photo. Can you help me?
We can add a watermark or your logo to your image for an additional 10 USD. If you add this to your initial fee please DO NOT add a note that it's for watermarking in the memo field of your payment. Leave that blank and include the message with your emailed photo.
When you send your photo, tell us what you'd like it to say, such as your professional name or your website (we recommend the latter), and if you would like a particular font. If you don't indicate one, we will select it for you.
If you have a logo send it along with your photo with placement instructions. If you don't we will add it to your photo in the spot we think best.
How do I update my listing?
If you need to update your photo(s), copy, or links, just send us an email at the address used to communicate with us about your listing. Please put something with "Update" in the subject line. We will update it as soon as possible.
If you're a person who likes to frequently update your photo, we're pretty flexible, but maybe try to keep it to no more than once a month. If you took a great shot of yourself and you want it updated right away, we get it. Go ahead and send it!
How does the Travel & Tours page work?
If you want to notify those visiting the site of your travel plans, just send an email with "Tour" somewhere in the subject line. Include where you will be, what dates, your website, and what you might want a client to know. Activities will not be posted. Please discuss that on your website.
Once your post is approved we will create an additional listing for you in your travel destination to alert visitors that you will be there.
For example, if your home base is California, USA and you will be traveling to Berlin, Germany, you will have a listing in both locations from the time you announce your travel to that area.
What kind of crafts and shops are eligible for inclusion?
Any gear, furniture, or clothing that would fall under "classic" or "traditional" BDSM and fetish. This includes bondage, impact, sensory, medical, pet play, gender ("feminization", "crossdressing"), role play costumes, latex, leather, lingerie, and the like.
What is required for an event listing?
Events can be conventions, excursions, anniversary or fetish parties, dungeon grand openings, training, workshops, classes, book publishing. They just have to be oriented to the professional community, provider or client, in some capacity.
Like other listings, events must meet professional criteria:
1. It's own website or a page on another professional website. This can include a Dominant who teaches online classes and has a page on her professional site which provides all the pertinent info.
2. A custom domain. Events on free websites, such as FetLife, are not eligible.
3. It must related to classic BDSM. For example, weekend slave trainings are related. Massage workshops are not.
4. Sufficient development on the site to describe your event.
Events can be a blend of professional and lifestyle elements but cannot be strictly lifestyle events. For example, a convention in which there are workshops for professionals but also lifestyle play parties are okay. A weekend island getaway for lifestylers is not (as fun as it sounds). Another example is a Mistress who offers classes. Teaching BDSM-related skills is okay. Teaching people how to do landscaping is not.